Forbidden Wedding: Brazilian Film Explores Religious Restrictions on Marriage of Disabled Persons
By Jennifer Perry (jenperryiid@aol.com)
Forbidden Wedding: A Summary of the Film
This is a documentary produced and directed by Flavia Fontes, a Brazilian filmmaker who lives in New York. This 60-minute film tells the story of a disabled man and his fiancé who face religious opposition to their marriage because he is sexually impotent. Hedir and Mara live in a small community in Brazil. He is a paraplegic due to a gun shot injury and works for a disability organization. She is a widow with two children.
After her husband's death, Mara begins working for Hedir as a home care attendant and they fall in love and decide to get married. Since both of them, as well as their families, are Catholic they make plans to marry in their community church. They make arrangements with the priest for services, ceremony and all other wedding activities, invitations are sent out, and they undergo the requisite premarital counseling. The priest says nothing to suggest that Hedir's impairment will be an impediment to the marriage. Shortly before the wedding, he receives a letter from the Bishop stating that according to the Canonic law, he cannot get married in the church because he is impotent.
Through interviews with both Catholic religious leaders, and friends and family, this video presents a controversial situation that puts love and faith on opposite sides. For more information and purchase details, please visit Fontes' web site.
Religious Rules and Discrimination
Forbidden Wedding was the topic of a February 2002 radio and online broadcast with "On a Roll" (www.ican.com), The show had Flavia Fontes, producer of the documentary as a guest and was hosted by Greg Smith and co-hosted by Judy Heumann, disability advocate and former Assistant Secretary of Special Education at the U.S. Department of Education. You may hear the whole program about the film at http://www.broadcast.com/shows/onaroll/archives.html. Click on the February 10th, 2002 broadcast link.
Taking into consideration the importance that this controversial issue can have around the globe, DisabilityWorld decided to interview Judy Heumann, and capture her reaction to the film, as well as her overall opinions on the impact of religion on disability rights. Here is some of what she had to say:
Jennifer Perry (JP): Do you think it is significant that this situation took place within a Latin Community?
Judy Heumann (JH): No, I don't. It happens everywhere. There is a rule that seems not to be applied uniformly. That rule is that you cannot get married if you are unable to procreate. There is also a rule in Catholicism that says you cannot have intercourse before marriage. If you follow both rules, how will you know you can't procreate or have intercourse at the time you get married? The application of this rule is questionable. The Church has never had open discussion about it as far as I know.
I would not look at the fact that it took place within a Latino Community disproportionately. It could be any community, any religion that views marriage mainly as a vehicle to create children. In my opinion, the rule was not the major issue.
The priest had more of a problem with his disability. According to the film, Hedir and Mara had been to pre-marital counseling and the disability did not seem to be an issue. They were moving ahead with their plans for the wedding, sending out invitations etc. My impression was the priest was aware they were moving ahead. The priest did not ask Hedir directly during this time of pre-marital counseling if he was impotent. He asked his mother first.
JP: You said that this could happen anywhere. Do you think that the religion, Catholicism, played a part? In other words, could this or does this happen within other religious contexts?
JH: Yes. In the Jewish Ultra-Orthodox religion there is a rule that says: if you have not been able to have a child within 10 years then you should no longer continue to be married. I am unfamiliar with the Islamic religions but I would not be surprised if there is some type of similar rule. It does depend on the community though. In more liberal communities, this may not be an issue because of new science, adoption etc.
JP: What did you like about the film?
JH: I think what was good about the film is the way that you got to see how the community functioned. You felt like part of the community because you got to know the two protagonists. The other interviews showed the standing of the couple in the community.
It also showed how the couple organized. This was both positive and negative. The negative aspect was that the church may have married them if they had not made a big deal about it. The positive result of their action though is they recognized this situation as an inequity and tried to change it.
The ideal outcome would be that the church reexamines the issue.
JP: Do you think religion was a major cause of this situation?
JH: No. There are other factors besides religion. Even if the church did not have this rule we know that some people, priests and others, would still be against them marrying. This issue arose because of a rule the church had, but we know that there are people who have a bias against a disabled and non-disabled marriage including those who are non-religious.
To find out more about the movie, go to the ICAN news story about the movie or Flavia Fontes' website.
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