Learning Peer Counseling and Leadership in Moscow: a Success Story
Irina Krokhinova joined the "Disabled Youth for Social Change" project two months after its beginning. Despite being a very talented and competent person, she was still very shy and afraid to say or do the wrong thing. She thought she could be of no use to anyone but her closest friends.
Today Irina is the most capable peer support group leader in the Moscow team. She has led more than 20 groups, six completely on her own. She has new friends and has increased confidence in herself and her abilities. "I didn't understand why disabled people would participate or how a support group could help them."
Irina's understanding of disability was limited to herself and her disabled friends. They are all independent, confident and ambitious. She thought that all disabled people were this way, and therefore saw support groups as a waste of time.
Irina then began attending support group meetings and eventually became a leader. "In the support groups I realized that just coming together can be beneficial for someone who is in a difficult situation, even if it only means helping one person make the decision that is right for him. People have freedom of choice, and the stories of other participants can help you to see your situation and your problems from all sides. They help you analyze the situation and may keep you from making a bad decision."
After attending only five support group sessions, Irina began to feel that she was helping others. Although she had achieved much in her own life, she never imagined that her experiences could serve as examples for others. Irina does not like to talk about herself, and it was not easy for her to start doing so. "Who cares what's going on inside my head?"
But when she saw people who faced a difficult problem, and thinking that her experiences might be useful, she spoke up once, then a second time, and then again and again. She became convinced that peer support groups were useful. "When I started telling stories from my life, I realized that they would not be criticized or laughed at, and that made me more self-assured. Making a habit of self-assurance helps you to overcome more and more difficulties. Support groups so carefully observe anonymity and confidentiality, that you feel completely safe from criticism and insults."
While Irina was participating in the support groups, she was learning how to lead them by watching other group leaders. When she led a group herself for the first time, she was terrified that she would make mistakes. It is one thing to participate in these groups; you can talk as much or as little as you want. But having a leadership role is a different thing entirely. "I was afraid that it wouldn't work out. The most important thing is for people to feel good about participating. You want them to leave satisfied, with a light heart, and with no negative feelings."
Irina's support groups were successful. She has many new friends. Working in this project has helped her gain a new perspective on herself and on her surroundings. It has helped her to understand that she too is an interesting person and can have a positive impact on the lives of others.
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