John D. Kemp's 2003 Commencement Speech at Washburn University School of Law
President Farley, Dean Honabach, Distinguished graduates, faculty, staff, my family [wife, Sam; parents John/Joan Kemp; Dr Thomas & Kathy Lehmann and daughter Lally; Dr Cal Ray & Mary Harding; Mr. and Mrs. Dave & Beth Cicha and daughter Christine; Stephanie McCowan and Stephen Hoff], and friends [Dave Tripp and Sam Schuetz].
What an honor to be asked by you, the Law students to be your Commencement Speaker. Thank you.
Twenty nine years ago, somehow and by the grace of God, I sat in your place, proud of achieving one of the most difficult challenges I'd ever faced - graduating from Washburn University School of Law. And, I was simultaneously satisfied, terrified, and anxious about leaving this safety net and starting my professional life, competing, earning, living on my own! I remember sitting right where you are today. Enjoy the moment - you've earned it.
Washburn University is my family, and it's your family, too! In your short time here, you've sadly have lost members and gained some through births, and marriages, relationships and adoptions. Our family will grow as Washburn extends its reach throughout the United States and worldwide.
So, let me start my reaching each of you in some small, yet politically correct way - Distinguished graduates, faculty, staff, friends, parents, persons with disabilities, people of class, no class people, people of color, colorful people, people of height, the vertically constrained, people of hair, the differently coifed, the optically challenged, the temporarily sighted, the insightful, the out-of-sight, the out-of-towners, the Eurocentrics, the Afrocentrics, the Afrocentrics with Eurailpasses, the eccentrically inclined, the sexually disinclined, people of sex, sexy people, sexist pigs, animal companions, friends of the earth, friends of the boss, the temporarily employed, the differently employed, the differently employed, the differently optioned, people with options, people with options, people with stock options, the divestiturists, the deconstructionists, the home constructionists, the homeboys, the homeless, the temporarily housed at home, and god save us, the permanently housed at home!
Service and Advocacy
Since graduating from Washburn Law in 1974, I have spent most of my professional time working in management, as General Counsel with National Easter Seals and as the Chief Executive Officer of large national and international disability organizations. I was lucky. Through that service, I became a volunteer board member of Independent Sector, the national unifying voice for philanthropy and volunteerism in America.
While the nonprofit sector has been rocked by bad behavior over the past 13 years, tarnishing meaningful public service for many of us who have served, the role of charity remains noble and purposeful, a distinguishing feature of American society. No other country's citizens and corporations give such a substantial portion of their "disposable income" and "earnings" to non-profits to do "good". Non-government organizations educate, employ, train, salvage, resurrect, enable, empower, dignify, sanctify, even save human lives all around us everyday. I'm certain, while you've been at Washburn Law, that nearly all of you have given your time in service to a non-profit, some of you have given your money, and some of you have even worked for non-profits. To work as an attorney in service to others gives you opportunities to engage corporate and tax law; contracts and compliance concerns; human resources, pensions and benefits problems; bonds and other long-term debt instruments; marketing, communications and fund-raising; and my love, legislative and regulatory affairs. Throughout, you operate with an overlay of emotion, speaking for the politically powerless, the voiceless, the voteless. This is the business of nonprofits, always with a heart.
Alan Bergman, President and CEO of the Brain Injury Association of America said once, "An advocate is never satisfied with the status quo." Each of you is now an advocate, and each of you will have many different ways to serve. I'm asking you and I'm telling you...don't waste your time just playing in the sandbox of life - commit to making something good - and productive - and meaningful happen every day - and then do it!
Heroes
How did you get to this point in your lives? Who was it that gave you your sense of self - and purpose - and mission to want to pursue a role of "advocate" in life? Who are your role models; who are your heroes? I'm sure they're watching you today.
My father is my hero, and he is here today. I feel confident that my sisters would agree, we were raised by a man who will be canonized a Saint some day. Really. Our natural mother passed away three months after my younger sister, Mary, was born, leaving my Dad to raise us three children. Kathy, my older sister, was then 5, and I was 15 months old and born without arms below the elbows and legs below my knees. At age 32 my Dad restarted his life - with 3 young children, two Master's Degrees, a deep Catholic faith, and without his partner. He committed then to a life of public service and advocacy, of quality parenting and of love, and of improving the lives of people with disabilities, my life, our lives. When he decided not to seek re-election to the City Council of Prairie Village, Kansas in 2001, in his 83rd year, he completed 60 consecutive years of public service, from a county public roads worker and to his service as the Kansas Secretary of Transportation for 8 years in the '80's. He used his wisdom, charm and very good fortune to find and marry our Stepmother - our Mother, Joan, in 1970. Thank you for being here, and I love you very much. My Dad now has Parkinson's, and he addresses all the challenges it brings with all the skills he has acquired, managing it and not letting it ever defeat him.
My point in telling you about our father is certainly to show you our pride - and to ask you to reflect for just a moment on the persons who have meant the most to you in your journey here. We all need someone sometime in our lives; and someone will need you. Be there for them.
I was given the gift of love and self-worth, by virtue of the way I was raised, in inclusive school settings from K through L School, by virtue of who raised us and with two incredible sisters, who've married two remarkable men. My disability has given me both insight and perspective on human behavior. A simple social "handshake" with me has sent ordinary people into states of confusion. I know I must guide people at these times. Let me go a little deeper, please.
Just as there is a recognized culture for women, for African Americans, for Hispanic Americans, for Asian Americans and for Native Americans, there is a newly recognized culture of disability. And while much of culture is passed down through families, churches and synagogues, and social organizations for other groups, for people with disabilities, 85% of whom acquired their disabilities after birth, unlike me, we "acquire" our disability culture from each other, through peers and mentors with disabilities, but not necessarily our families.
Let me try to define Disability Culture, especially if you accept the premise that women have a culture, African-Americans have a culture, Hispanic-Americans have a culture, and so on.
What are the core values of a Disability Culture?
- An heightened acceptance of human differences - whether social, racial, economic, class.
- Interdependence is an essential part of our lives.
- Disability humor - the ability to find something absurdly hilarious in almost anything, however dire.
- The ability to read others' attitudes and conflicts in order to sort out, fill in the gaps and grasp the latent meaning in contradictory social messages.
In his first book, Emotional Intelligence , Dr. Daniel Goleman states that research is proving that violence prevention programs are far more effective when they teach a core of emotional competencies: impulse control, managing anger, and finding creative solutions to social predicaments.
High IQ, it is estimated, is attributable to only 20% of life's success, leaving fully 80% of success attributed to emotional intelligence - the ability to rein impulse; to read another's innermost feelings; and to handle relationships smoothly.
Aristotle said: "It is a rare skill to be angry
- with the right person,
- to the right degree,
- at the right time
- for the right purpose and
- in the right way."
When these are all aligned, you can be angry.
All of us must act civilly with each other, regardless of the source of our frustrations, the cause of our concerns, or the messages we receive. The Rules of Professional Conduct governing attorneys don't start at 8:30am and stop at 6pm; these rules that that I have sworn - and you will swear - to uphold, apply 24/7/365. As Michael Egan, Dollar Car Rental President & CEO stated, "... .Understand that the most destructive power you hold is the ability to destroy yourself. Preserve your own dignity, health and welfare."
Rules of civil society apply to all citizens every hour of every day. That's what I learned from my Dad - and from Washburn Law School and - from choosing the profession of law.
For almost all of us with disabilities, over the past 50 years, we've seen wholesale shifts in public policy and public perceptions towards people with disabilities. For his lifelong work on our behalf, we owe deep thanks to Senator Bob Dole, a most distinguished alumni and good friend of mine, really. The sole responsibility for "fitting in", "keeping up" and "doing things just like everyone else" (those are air quotes for those not keeping up here!) more properly shifted off of me and us, the people with disabilities, to the responsibility of those who build our physical environments and who can create accessible technologies and appreciate the concepts of full inclusion and acceptance of ALL. You don't necessarily seek universal access until you need it and can't have it.
While my Dad taught me well the notion of personal responsibility, he also taught me to place responsibility squarely upon those who denied me my right to equality. When I returned home crying about poor treatment and teasing, he would ask me, "Who has the handicap here, John? Is it you who were born and live with your disability, or is it those who won't accept you because of it?" I was given perspective as to why human behavior could be so insensitive, and I felt some pity and sorrow and concern for those who just couldn't accept me for who I am, with my disability. It gave me, hopefully, an open mind about all people.
So, what's my message today?
- You am responsible for what you do, just as I am.
- Your reputation is the most important asset you have. Protect it!
- When you commit to doing something, see it all the way through. Or don't commit to it all.
- It takes years to build up trust, and it takes only a minute's worth of stupidity to destroy it. Be wise.
- Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. If you whine excessively about how unfair you think life is, people will stop listening.
- You cannot make someone love you; you should live like you have to earn it every day.
- Exceed people's expectations of you and for you and not by placing the threshold too conveniently low!
- My Dad's Rule of Equal Splitting Between Two People: One person divides "it" and the other has first choice!
- You are not your work. Maintain balance in your life. As my wife Sam shows me, laugh and smile and enjoy what you have today!
- Find happiness and contentment in your life, as I've been most fortunate to find with my wife, Sam. And, find fulfillment in your professional work as an advocate, wherever that may take you.
I'm most privileged to be with you on this - one of the most important days in your lives. You have everything in front of you. Said Herb Boeckmann, an outstanding corporate leader, "If you don't give your very best, you are compromising your values, compromising your efforts, and compromising your time." Today, we celebrate you achieving your goal of graduating from Washburn Law School! Congratulations!
And, thank you for this honor of being with you today!!
|
