My Flesh and Blood: U.S. documentary about life with 11 disabled, adopted children

"My Flesh and Blood" is the story of a rough year in the life of a household comprised of 11 adopted, disabled children and their mother. This documentary has earned recognition and prizes at all of the film festivals it has been entered in and is one of the most discussed films of the year, provoking angst-ridden reviews by some of the hardest boiled film critics in the business. Especially, critics seem to be nonplused by the motivation of the adoptive mother, whose only income is the slim government subsidy accorded to those who will take "special needs" children into their homes. At the same time, some critics seem mystified why life with a serious disability is deemed worth it. For example:

"There is a nagging suspicion that Tom (the adoptive mother) could be milking the system or neglecting her own deep-seeded demons and the gray motives beyond her selflessness."

Doug Brunell, Film Threat
"I detect she (the adoptive mother) is miserable—the people that have to deal with them are miserable—the kids who seem the happiest were the youngest ones—the real world hadn't crushed them yet....What is worse—growing up (if they ever make it that far) in a world that will never accept them?"

Steven Holden, New York Times
"The love she offers has little to do with tearful avowals and hearts and flowers sentimentality, and everything to do with following through, providing strong, thoughtful care and firm but gentle discipline to the 11 children living with her, 2 of whom face early deaths."

David Ng
"Joe embodies the chronically ill's unseen dilemma: from constant physical suffering often comes mental illness which can prove even more painful and destructive."

In one of his Manhattan-focused films, Woody Allen explains his view of the world: either one's experiences were simply terrible or really horrible, and being disabled was part of the latter. In various ways, the above quotes from mainstream film reviews of "My Flesh and Blood" reflect this worldview, that life is difficult enough and the introduction of serious disability make it untenable; consequently, anyone who chooses to be responsible for or an integral part of the life of seriously disabled persons is, by definition, also on the margins of rational existence. In other words, why would anyone organize their lives around children who are unlikely to make it to the prom?

This film takes a macro and micro look at living with a disability, exploring a more or less unique situation where a large number of children with varied disabilities are living together in one household. Karsh, who took a year off his job to film this story, selects four or five children to focus in on, while using the mother, Susan Tom, as the anchor. Her running commentary about the situation of each child reveals a woman with a stalwart mix of selfless maternal love, the objectivity of a nurse about physical conditions, and cautious belief in the possibilities of change.

For the most part, I found this an intriguing, compelling film, more honest than most about the cruelties of children, especially towards each other and especially when they are competing for attention. Some of the scenes would provoke a lot of discussion about prejudice and discrimination. While watching, I became more and more annoyed by Karsh's decision to let one really unpleasant boy dominate the film, but, in the end, it becomes clear that this adolescent was undergoing a life-threatening series of crises and Karsh could not ignore it - reality set in and took over both the Tom household and the film.

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